Bill Bryson ve Skotsku

Má oblíbená pasáž z knihy Billa Brysona Notes from a Small Island (Black Swan 1996). Autor na své cestě po Velké Británii dorazí do Glasgow, kde si chce dát pivo ...

Eventually I noticed one of the men at the bar eyeing me.
"Hae ya nae hook ma dooky?" he said.
"I'm sorry?" I replied.
"He'll nay be doon a mooning." He hoiked his head in the direction of a back room.
"Oh, ah," I said and nodded sagely, as if that explained it.
I noticed that they were both still looking at me.
"D'ye hae a hoo and a poo?" said the first man to me.
"I'm sorry?" I said.
"D'ye hae a hoo and a poo?" he repeated. It appeared that he was a trifle intoxicated.
I gave a small apologetic smile and explained that I came from the English-speaking world.
"D'ye nae hae in May?" the man went on. "If ye dinna dock ma donny."
"Doon in Troon they croon in June," said his mate, then added: "Wi' a spoon."
"Oh, ah." I nodded thoughtfully again, pushing my lower lip out slightly, as if it was all very nearly clear to me now.

A ještě přidám "Glasgow joke" z téže knihy:

A policeman collars a thief at the corner of Sauchiehall and Dalhousie, then drags him by the hair for a hundred yards to Rose Street to book him.
"Oi, why'd 'ye do tha?" asks the aggrieved culprit, rubbing his head.
"Because I can spell Rose Street, ye thieving cunt," says the policeman.

Poslední slova admirála Nelsona

Co vlastně řekl umírající Horatio Nelson na palubě HMS Victory? Wikipedia tvrdí, že to nebylo "Kiss me, Hardy":

Nelson's final words (as related by Victory's Surgeon William Beatty, based on the accounts of those who were with Nelson when he died) were "Thank God I have done my duty." According to Beatty, he repeated these words several times until he became unable to speak. It is unknown whether he was in a delirious state when repeating the sentence.

In his dying hours, Nelson was also attended by his chaplain, Alexander Scott; his steward, Chevalier; and the purser, Walter Burke. Their accounts have been available to Nelson's modern biographers. In those accounts, Nelson's last words were "Drink, drink. Fan, fan. Rub, rub." This was a request to alleviate his symptoms of thirst, heat, and the pains of his wounds. (Pocock, Horatio Nelson, 1987, p.331.)

It is a common misconception that Nelson's last words were, "Kiss me, Hardy", spoken to the captain of HMS Victory, Thomas Hardy. Nelson did, in fact, say these words to Hardy a short time before his death, but they were not his last words as Hardy was not present at his death, having been called back on deck. Some have speculated that Nelson actually said "Kismet, Hardy", but this is unlikely, since the word kismet did not enter the English language until much later, although he may have heard the word used by a Turk.

From Private Eye

Angličtina je pozoruhodný jazyk ...